Swords & Swordfish


The house next to ours has been empty for several months. Our previous neighbors had 2 kids, one whom was near my children’s age and would frequently hop over the backyard fence and play at our house quite often. Since they moved away, the kids (OK, all of us) have been wondering who might move in. Of course the kids have all been hoping for a family with some other nice to kids to play with.

With it being Swordfish season and all…. we keep some weird hours. Plus, some random items might be hanging around our house that aren’t always there. Plus, well ~ we are just a little different. Anywhoooo….. Chris came in very late last night and was unloading random fishing related items from his truck when our new neighbor drove up. They didn’t have an exchange or anything. But if the new neighbor was watching his new neighborhood (like I would be doing) he would have caught a faint whiff of fish, and in the shadows he would have made out the figure of a large man carrying a large stack of Swords over to the dark side of the house. If he had good eyesight, he would have noticed that the Swords were bloody.

This morning, our new neighbor was serenaded by my youngest, clad only in his tiny underwear, shouting from the balcony, “Awww….MOM! The new guy is old and he looks too ancient to have little kids!!” Dear Lord in heaven, please let it be that the ‘new guy’ is very hard of hearing. And also let him be very near-sighted.

As I dragged my little man off the balcony, I caught a quick visual and was instantly reminded that yes, by some quirky act of fate, this was the same man that we briefly met several weeks ago. This is what had happened: As we were all piling into the car (and any of you with children know how fun this task can be – and by ‘fun’ of course I mean 3 stooges like crazy) my oldest noticed this gentleman, his wife and their realtor looking at the ‘for sale’ house. Of course, we couldn’t just give a welcoming wave and move on. My oldest son bolts over, thrusts his hand out to introduce himself (OK, so far so good, using your manners – good job!) and immediately asks ‘Are you a Republican or a Democrat?’ Seriously, not kidding. The rest of the incredibly awkward exchange is a blur to me. Thank God.

A message for my new neighbor:

Welcome to the neighborhood, kind sir. If I wasn’t so humiliated, I’d introduce myself and try to explain that the bloody Swords are actually a school project and that when we last met you we were smack in the middle of studying US Government and Politics (and I’ve since explained to my darling son that ‘we simply don’t ask that question’) and also that my youngest son isn’t always nearly naked and shouting at the top of his lungs. Well, that last part would be a lie, of course, but honestly we aren’t terrible neighbors. Please give us a chance. And by the way…. can we soften the blow by offering you some fresh fish?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *